Why non-reviews? Um, we went over last week or so why I hate reviewing anything, comics included. Still, I do like to rant (why else would this blog exist?), so occasionally, I’ll mind-dump thoughts about comic purchases right here. We’ll get to the free stuff AFTER the ranting, of course.

X-Men: Legacy #210: Wow, OK, finally getting somewhere, though this framework of Professor X locked into astral plane combat with Exodus while a powerless Magneto kinda hangs out has been ludicrous, and just an excuse to wedge in all these flashbacks. So what have we gotten after three issues? Professor X walking off into the sunset alone, his powerful mind still powerful but now devoid of connection to the memories they contain. I have no idea where this is going, and after next issue, whether or not I care remains to be seen.

New Avengers #40: Um, SPOILER ALERT …

… Spider-Woman is a Skrull. I have a feeling when all this Secret Invasion nonsense is done, we’ll realize everyone is a Skrull, and has been for the last like 15-20 years (real time). Then it’ll be like 1988 all over again. Bring on the dancing horses!

DC Universe #0: Dear Dan DiDio: I tried, man, I tried to find some sort of jump-in point for your 52 universes of BS. I figured, “What better place than in the pages of a 50-cent comic book tying in to the biggest event DC’s had since its last biggest event?” Hoo-boy, was I wrong. Not only did this comic confuse the crap out of me, it reinforced my disdain for DC Comics. It’s like I’m a 10-year-old Marvel Zombie again. Seriously. Sigh. At least The Dark Knight trailer looks awesome.

Free Comic Book Day: Good show, comic book companies! Seriously: X-Men, Marvel Adventures, Hellboy, Iron Man/Hulk, and … most amazingly of all … a full reprint of All-Star Superman #1! This has to be the best FCBD yet. And … damn you DC … the aforementioned reprint is doing just what you intended: I think I’m going to buy the A-S Superman collection in trade. ARGH.

This week, it’s looking hot with Kick-Ass #3, Mighty Avengers #13 and Secret Invasion #2. I am kinda excited. What a friggin’ geek!

FREE STUFF TIME!!! OK, kids, we’re going to ease into Free Comic Mondays with an easy contest challenge — we’ll work our way up as the weeks go on, but I’m feeling a bit lazy today, so you benefit. This week’s prize is a copy of Black Lightning #4 from 1977. Why? Because it guest stars Superman, has Jimmy Olsen jive-talking, and WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT FREE STUFF? Anyway, here’s your damn challenge: Pop! Goes the Icon has an official favorite comic book artist. Who is it? (Hint: Yes, the answer is in a previous post) Leave your answer in the comments below. The first person to comment with the correct answer wins. How friggin’ hard was that? Just make sure you fill out your e-mail address, or else I will have no way to contact you and get your mailing address, knucklehead.

“Your Lamborghini, then? Much more subtle.”

… but the noble Autobots have … um … power-packed punches:

(Of course, we’ll ignore the next panel where Rumble gets avenged by his brother Frenzy and Brawn can do nothing but writhe on the ground moaning, “The pain — too much”)

This Transformers comic moment brought to you by order of one-and-only Bahlactus. Respect.

I’m adding this to my Christmas list this year. I like how the forthcoming Iron Man film has stirred up fun and interesting science articles such as the one above and this one on the feasibility of the science behind the Iron Man armor.

I wonder if I can convince someone to go see it with me. I typically wait for DVD, but this is a popcorn movie, and goldarn it, I want popcorn.

Call this a shameless bit of shilling or call it a public service announcement, but either way, you have five hours left to bid on these four color beauties on eBay:

Lot of 13 1980s/90s Avengers and 1977 Ms. Marvel comics

There’s some good stuff in there: 300th issue of Avengers, origin of Ms. Marvel, lots of John Buscema art. And current bid is only $3.99 for 13 gorgeous comics. What the hell are you waiting for?

(Via Wolverine Daily)

Sigh. Seriously, I don’t get this. What is with the obsessive reprinting of every story arc in every major comic released ever? Collecting a groundbreaking work that spans 12 issues makes sense. Collecting a few issues that came out last month to blatantly milk a few more bucks after allegedly “selling out” of those issues? Come on. Are we heading toward the point where we simply reprint every comic that’s released with an alternate packaging and devalue the originals even more?

In completely unrelated news, I realized yesterday during my already-documented process of moving that I own the first issue of Love and Rockets magazine from 1982. Is that worth something? My Overstreet guide is packed.

Not that anyone reading this blog is going to agree, but sometimes I am accused of keeping my geekhood in the closet, as it were. Well, yes, this is technically true, because that’s where the bulk of my comic books and collectibles are stashed. But your pal Pj is moving in five days, which means my office looks like a mini-warehouse, with stacks of cardboard boxes springing up pretty quickly.

Well, within one of those boxes were the many toys, figures, cereal boxes and other paraphernalia of pop culture — mostly comic books — I’ve been gathering over the years. Some of this stuff is just ridiculous. Seriously. I mean, like Batman party favor ridiculous. Well, instead of continuing to try and describe the mess to you, I’ve decided to highlight just some of the items found in that picture above. Check it out. Click each picture to view a larger image and a little story:

Apparently, Rachel Summers thinks so. Because Bahlactus commands, it’s Phoenix bitch-slapping the All-Powerful Jheri-Curled One for the win, courtesy of Chris Claremont and the Official Favorite Artist of Pop! Goes The Icon™, John Romita, Jr.:

With that in mind, I’m still going to expose the world to some thoughts on the crop of Marvel comics I picked up this week, because, well, I can:

Uncanny X-Men 497: Is it just me or do comic stories move super slowly these days? I think there is waaaay too much emphasis on story “arcs” and not enough on making single issues of comic series equally awesome. The entire series is an ongoing story arc, my friends — they don’t have to be segmented into neat, six-part designations to fit into next year’s overstuffed trade paperback shelves. Ugh. Anyway, I’m kinda bored with this “San Francisco transformed into hippie paradise” storyline. Honestly, if you walked into the city and it was all hippies and peace and love and crap, would your first thought be “we have to get to the bottom of this and stop the madness?” Or would it be, “Oh, it’s ‘Frisco. Whatever?” Yes, I know, Angel is lost in the hippie soup somewhere. So? He could use a groovy trip.

And the Russian plotline is dragging too. Seriously — this would have been a two-issue story back in the ’80s. Wolvie, Petey and the fuzzy elf get captured, the villain reveals some wicked backstory, and then in the second issue they escape and kick some ass and go have beers while Logan makes some snarky comment about Piotr’s innocence. Sigh … why am I not writing this stuff? Whatever. I’m basically waiting it out until issue 500, when the X-Men become all official again and set up new shop in San Fran. I did like their SF issues back when Claremont and Romita, Jr. were rocking it in the mid-80s, so I say bring it on.

Thor 8: Well, I’ll say this: Marko Djurdjevic’s first stab at interior, sequential art was much better than I expected. See, he can do more than just computer paint pretty covers. Speaking of: Dear Marvel: Your covers can actually show some action and not just heroic poses of the title’s stars. Thanks. Anyway, it’s not likely I’ll stick around after this. I gave it a two-issue shot, but compared to the ’80s and early-’90s Thor comics, I just can’t hang. Sorry JMS. It’s not you, it’s me.

Mighty Avengers 12: Great Nick Fury story. But this is not an Avengers comic. Sigh. And Alex Maleev’s realistic art is rad, but Nick Fury doesn’t look like Nick Fury. This practice of modeling comic characters after real life models is kinda dumb. Being influenced is one thing (see John Byrne’s Christopher Reeve-flavored Superman), but redrawing characters in ways that eliminate their distinctive features (such as Fury’s strong jaw, bent nose, etc.) is just as bad as a writer writing someone out of character.

Oh. The story. Um, it’s interesting how Marvel is using the Secret Invasion tie-ins to tell the backstory of what’s happening in the Secret Invasion series, but it just … I dunno, all this stuff feels really disjointed to me. I’m not sure why. Thoughts?

I guess that’s it. My wrist hurts and I have other work to do so I’m going to stop typing for a few minutes before something breaks.