Pop! Goes the Icon

OK, death is harsh. But at least … forcibly removed from his post. You know, it must be incredibly insulting to the writers taking orders from an artist with no proven writing skills. How did this guy become editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics and not … I dunno, art director? Could you have imagined John Romita as ed-in-chief after Stan Lee? (Not that Quesada as an artist is anywhere in league with Romita.) Of course not. It would have made no sense. But for some reason, Quesada has used his mutant mind-clouding powers to rise to the top of the Marvel empire and hold that post for seven years now!

I stopped collecting new comics regularly about 1991. Yes, I know that seems like a long time. But it doesn’t feel that long (and, concurrently, I don’t feel that old, I guess). This was in the heyday of the Tom DeFalco era, when Marvel was booming–profits increased 500% and the company went public (a decision having much more to do with owner Ron Perelman  than the beleaguered EIC). I didn’t stop reading because the quality of the comics declined. It was mainly because of what happens when adolescent boys approach their middle years of high school: Comics and baseball cards take the backburner to cars and girls. Well, that’s what happens to most of us; the ones who keep making weekly pilgrimages to the comic shop tend to grow up to be the weird, 40-year-old virgin working at the video store who lives in his mother’s basement.

While I picked up the occasional issue of interest or filled in holes in my back issues over the next 15 years, I was otherwise clueless as to the ongoings of the comic book world. And boy, am I glad. Apparently, while I was gone, the two biggest comic companies–DC and Marvel–did some major screwing around to their characters and continuities. Marvel, however, was the worst offender. In the comic book pages, the company "revealed" its flagship property, Spider-Man, to be nothing more than a clone for the prior 15 years of stories … and then (after a good chunk of fan dissatisfaction), "revealed" that oh no, just kidding, Peter Parker has always been Spider-Man. Apparently, Spidey’s Aunt May died … and came back. Over in the X-Men camp, um, geez, I can’t even follow this: Apparently, Gambit was a leader in the Mutant Massacre of the mid-80s, Cyclops ditched Marvel Girl (or Jean Grey or Phoenix or whatever) for the White Queen, and, OH YEAH, Professor X kept hidden the fact that the "new X-Men" of 1974 were actually the second set of chumps to go up against Krakoa after his first group died trying to rescue the original group …

MY HEAD HURTS NOW.

And somewhere along the way–not counting the "Heroes Reborn" universe spawned by more X-Men nonsense (and Bob Harras), where the entire Marvel Universe as we knew it was wiped out and hotshot creators were turned loose to reinvent the characters for about a year–Marvel decided having one version of their iconic creators existing was not enough, that having years worth of rich storytelling somehow bogged down new readers (in the old days, when someone wanted to get familiar with a comic they just picked up, they did this thing called "buying back issues"), and so was created an ENTIRELY SEPARATE "UNIVERSE" of comics (Ultimates) to entice younger readers. And then there’s the MC2 universe. And the 1602 universe. 2099. Age of Apocalypse.

Does anyone remember what happened about 20 years ago when DC had too many versions of their characters running around and no one could keep track?

They killed ‘em off and started over. And then DC started putting out awesome comics.

Oh, and I’m not going to get started on DC’s follies over the last decade and a half, though I will say this: I actually bought new DC comics in the last year. Can’t say the same for Marvel. Which is a huge thing, given I was a die-hard Marvel Zombie in the ’80s.

So where was I?

Oh yeah, I was inspired to write this after reading some internet rumors/spoilers about the latest Spider-Man travesty, a multi-title story called "One More Day." A little background for the non-current geeks: Marvel ran a huge crossover promotion recently called "Civil War," in which Earth’s mightiest heroes (all of ‘em, not just the Avengers) divided into opposing forces in the wake of a Congress-passed Superhuman Registration Act (legislation that has been floating around the Marvel universe since the late ’80s or early ’90s, but unlike the ERA, it was eventually passed). Well, somehow, Spider-Man was temporarily deluded to think deference to the U.S. government was such a good idea he revealed his secret identity to the world. Before the end of the series, of course, he defected and joined the rebel heroes, but obviously Peter Parker being known to the world as Spider-Man creates some havoc for … um, everyone in that fictional world. And that would have been fine. There are CONSEQUENCES for actions, and the consequences thereof, though I never read the comics following "Civil War," were surely severe to Spidey’s supporting cast, most notably his wife, Mary Jane, and his apparently resurrected aunt, May.

Well, if you’re to believe certain interweb postings in advance of the final chapter of "One More Day" — and this could all be for naught, but I doubt it, since plans for the follow-up, "Brand New Day," invokes a "back to basics" approach — somehow Mary Jane is given the opportunity to undo her knowledge of Peter Parker being Spider-Man (which she’s known for … um, probably 30 years, real time), which then eradicates about, yeah, 30 years worth of stories–not just their marriage, but a whole lot that went along with that, effectively rendering Peter Parker to the swingin’, single guy he was decades ago.

You know, I really hope this turns out not to be the case, then I’ll do a little retconning myself, erasing all of your knowledge of this post and returning it to just ranting about all the shitty comic book nonsense post-1990s, EXCEPT for the last paragraph.

Ugh … I’m not even sure where I am with this post that has morphed into a barely-connected rant. I think I need a Crisis on Infinite Blogs to clean this up …

Look … DeFalco was unfairly ousted by the very same guy that took Marvel’s high-performing stock and turned it into such shit he forced the company into bankruptcy. Since then, we’ve had as EIC Bob Harras–who oversaw the extension and confusion of the Spider-Man Clone Saga, the desperate sales stunts of "Onslaught," "Heroes Reborn" and "Age of Apocalypse" AND ran off Chris Claremont (for the time being)–and Quesada, who, um, instituted any above-mentioned and unmentioned nonsense since Harras’ departure, including banning smoking from the comics (Nick Fury without a stogie? Shut up!), creating (and then waffling on) rules such as "no deaths" and "stories before continuity" (can’t we have great stories that build on others, instead of knocking them down?).

It’s funny how some people blame DeFalco for Marvel’s bankruptcy and then credit Quesada with saving the company. Much like presidents of the U.S., they happened to just come along at times when cycles flowed a certain way.

I really might pick up this last chapter of "One More Day," just to see how it goes down and confirm or decry this retconning that sounds so ludicrous I can barely believe anyone would approve it. Though I hate giving that $4 or whatever comics cost now to Marvel. I guess we’ll see.